No One Is Perfect

Every time you point a finger at someone, there will always be three pointing back at you.

~ Author unknown

How often do we find ourselves pointing fingers or scoffing at someone's mishaps or failures? We might even do it without realizing it.

We all have days when nothing seems to go right. There are times when we feel like our best effort just isn't good enough. On these days, a kind gesture goes a long way. A smile, a helping hand, or a kind word of encouragement works better in lifting our spirits than does criticism or ridicule. No one wants to be kicked when they're down.

When we find ourselves on the criticizing end, remember that no one is perfect ~ NO ONE. Even those who always look happy on the outside and seem to have life figured out have challenges and trials. No one is exempt. If we could keep this in mind, there would be a lot less contention and judging among family, friends, and neighbors. It would keep us on more of an equal ground, open up doors of communication, and bring us closer to those around us.

The next time we find ourselves criticizing someone, remember that we all have moments when we'd like to bury our head in the sand. Instead of judging, stop and ask, "How would I feel if it was me?" We might find ourselves responding with more compassion and less criticism.

Finger Pointing

Finding the Courage to Try

Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says, "I'll try again tomorrow."

~ Mary Anne Radmacher

* Quote Correction: As it's hard to verify exactly where quotes originate, when I first found this quote online, it was attributed to Thomas S. Monson (he used it in a General Conference talk). My apologies to Mary for any mis-representation.

Running a marathon. Writing a book. Taking the Bar exam. Starting a business. Traveling the world. We all have something on our bucket list, something we want to accomplish, or something we are working towards. And often times, we don't succeed the first time. It takes courage to continue trying when we fail at something. It takes courage to try again when others tell us we can't. It takes courage to make our dreams come true.

There are always going to be oppositions in life. That won't change. How we deal with those oppositions will determine the outcome of our goals. If we give in to the challenges that will undoubtedly come our way, our goals and dreams get put on hold. Sometimes our self-esteem suffers. We might start doubting our abilities and our focus changes, unless we find the courage within us to try again.

Take on oppositions as a challenge. Take them on with courage and you will feel a new zest for achieving your goals. Don't listen to anyone who tells you it can't be done or that you will fail. The truth is, you might fail. But if you do, brush yourself off and try again. And again. And again..

Remember that anything is possible, especially in this day and age. Opportunity is at everyone's fingertips. The ingredient that is often missing is courage. It's scary to put yourself out there, to make things happen. But finding the courage to try and accomplish what you've set out to do can be empowering. And your success might rub off on someone else. Start with a small thought of ~ "I Can Do This!"~ and watch what happens.

Don't let anything get in your way. Don't let anyone get you down. And don't stop trying.

Courage To Try

Resolve To Get Organized

Most of us make New Year's resolutions that end up being broken, forgotten, and therefore, unresolved by the end of January.  

This is the time to change that. Start with a simple step ~ get a calendar! Buy one, print one, draw one, download one. Just get one. Once you have a calendar, take just 10 minutes to sit down (perhaps with a phone nearby to call for help) and write down birthdays, appointments, trips, science-fair projects, basketball games, dance recitals ~ whatever it is that you know you have coming up this year. A few minutes of organization now will save time later.

Place your calendar somewhere you will see it everyday. If your calendar is on paper, highlight the birthdays in one color, appointments in another color, and games in another. If you are using a digital form, attach a chime or reminder tone to these important dates. Give yourself some kind of reminder to send a birthday card, make a phone call, or get in your car so you don't miss what's on your schedule.

By taking a few minutes to do this now, you will start the year off feeling (and looking) more organized and focused on what's important in your life. Being organized on paper, or digitally, will help you achieve any other resolutions you make right now or in the future.

Organization

Traditions Old and New

Christmas traditions old and new,

what works for me may not work for you.

The important thing is we work together

to make memories that will last forever.

~ Stacy Coles

Christmas used to be my favorite time of year. Every neighborhood seemed so magical with Christmas lights bringing dark streets to life when the sun went down. Everyone seemed nicer and more willing to help those in need. The anticipation on Christmas Eve of the surprise that would be found under the tree the next morning used to make my heart burst with excitement. So, why do most adults seem to forget this sense of holiday magic?

It's called time! As we get older, we seem to take less time to enjoy the things that used to bring joy to our lives this time of year. Instead, we use all of our time scouring around trying to plan the perfect party, buy the perfect gift, and make everything perfect for everyone around us. And through it all, we forget to take the time to enjoy the holiday movies we grew up with, bake the holiday cookies that our moms used to make, or enjoy the magic that fills the air. 

This Christmas season, make yourself stop for a few minutes and think about three things you remember most about the holidays when you were younger. What made Christmas magic for you? What made you giddy with excitement? Between now and Christmas, make one (or all three) of those memories come alive again ~ for your family, now! Pull out an old recipe from your mom's recipe book (make a few phone calls ~ someone will have it). Send Christmas cards to a few families from your old neighborhood. Think of the joy on their faces when they receive some holiday cheer from you! My favorite Christmas memory was going caroling with our neighbors on a flatbed pick-up truck filled with hay bails to sit on. We drove through the streets, snuggled in blankets, singing carols. Most of us didn't know all the words, and the rest sang off key. After our toes were numb, we would all cram into my mom's humble kitchen and dining room for chili, bread sticks and hot chocolate. Thinking about that now, I honestly don't know how that many people fit into such a cozy area. But the memory is still just as cozy!

I haven't been able to talk my family into continuing this tradition quite yet, but my kids know the holiday classic, "It's A Wonderful Life," within seconds of any scene. Yes, the old black-and-white films are one tradition I insist on so my family can say they've been cultured!

Family traditions might change over time. The important thing is to make memories that will last a lifetime. Incorporate favorites from both your upbringing and those from your spouse's childhood. Use the ones that work for your family and have fun making new ones.

Christmas is still my favorite time of year. Although time seems like a rare commodity these days, taking the time to recognize precious moments and cherish new traditions might allow for time to slow down a little bit this holiday season. You can't find the holiday Spirit if you don't take the time to look for it.

Family Traditions

Christmas Traditions

Thankful Thoughts

This time of year, many of us are preparing menus for Thanksgiving dinner, arranging travel plans to reunite with loved ones, or maybe dreading all of the hustle and bustle the holidays bring. Regardless of where your thoughts are about the upcoming celebrations, take a minute to appreciate all the little things in your life that you would not normally think of as blessings. It's these little things that we don't give much thought to, that we complain about, or we might just completely take for granted, that make our lives comfortable.

***

I Am Thankful For...

The clothes that fit a little too snug because it means I have enough to eat.

All the complaining I hear about our government because it means we have freedom of speech.

The lady behind me in church who sings off key because it means I can hear.

The mess to clean after a party because it means I have been surrounded by friends.

The taxes I pay because it means that I am employed.

My shadow who watches me work because it means I am out in the sunshine.

The spot I find at the end of the parking lot because it means I am capable of walking.

The piles of laundry and ironing because it means I have clothes to wear.

Weariness and aching muscles at the end of the day because it means I have been productive.

A lawn that needs mowing, windows that need cleaning and gutters that need fixing because it means I have a home.

My heating bill because it means I am warm.

The alarm that goes off in the early morning hours because it means that I am alive.

~ Author Unknown

***

By changing the way we think about these irritations in our lives, we will be able to see just how blessed we are. Make your own list of things that might be considered annoyances in your life. Then, challenge yourself to find the blessing in each item on your list. You might be surprised at just how much you have to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.

I Am Thankful For

A Little Wiggle Room

Allow some wiggle room in your routine

and the bumps will be straiter than they seem.

~ Stacy Coles

Are you one of those people who are so schedule driven, so task oriented, that you break into a sweat when an unexpected obstacle puts a kink in your day? Do you follow the words of Henry A. Kissinger who said, "There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full,"?

Schedules are wonderful things. Whether we write down appointments in a planner or review a calorie-counter on our favorite electronic device, staying organized helps us stay focused on our goals. Without a plan and a direction, we can easily get distracted or procrastinate and nothing gets accomplished.

However, learning how to give ourselves a little wiggle room can be just as important. By not getting so agitated when we hit obstacles (and we will), our mental and physical health will improve and we might be surprised at what gets done ~ without feeling stressed.

Begin every day (or every project) with the idea that you will do your best. Set out to accomplish the goals on your agenda, but, mentally prepare by telling yourself that life will still go on if you don't check everything off your list. Knowing that we are putting forth our best effort should be enough for us to feel good about what we HAVE accomplished.

Prioritize your goals. Make sure you work on the most important tasks first. This way, your energy is focused where it should be. Don't beat yourself up for the little things that don't get done. Tomorrow is another day. The tasks that don't get accomplished today can be moved to the top of tomorrow's list.

Change can be a good thing. If you try to change your routine at least once a week, just a little, you can train yourself to adjust better to the bigger obstacles that might come down the road. Many of us get into a comfort zone with our daily routine. It's actually hard to plan extras into the day because it's not the norm. Start small. Have something different for breakfast. Try a new restaurant for lunch. Take the stairs instead of the elevator. Use a different machine at the gym. Change doesn't have to be so enormous that we are traumatized. Just pick something little and out of the ordinary to start. It might sound like a silly exercise, but it's good training for our brains. It shows us that life will not fall apart by doing something different.

By doing our best, prioritizing our tasks, and training ourselves to be ok with a little change every now and then, we allow ourselves a little wiggle room in our chaotic lives. We can actually help eliminate stress from our day-to-day schedules if learn how to deal with the unexpected obstacles that always appear. Doing this will help us tackle every day with confidence instead of stress.

Wiggle Room

Full Schedule

Falling In Love & Staying In Love

You don't get to choose who you fall in love with; that's why it's called "falling" in love. However, you do get to choose to stay in love. And staying in love takes work on both sides.

Always remember why you fell in love in the first place. Every couple will have their ups and downs. It's part of life. When the downs get in the way, go to your separate corners and take a breather. Let yourselves cool off. And, while you are regaining your composure, think about three things you were attracted to when you first met your significant other. Think about what he/she was wearing, how their eyes sparkled in the light of the room, the chills that went up and down your spine the first time you held hands. These are the little things that can rekindle that fire, no matter how long you've been together.

Recreate the dating spark. Ok, so you've been married for years and it's hard to find time to connect with soccer practices and piano lessons. All of us long for that butterflies-in-the-stomach feeling every time the one you love enters the room. If you haven't felt that way about your significant other for a while, it's time to make it happen again. Think about the days when you quickly stopped kissing when someone entered the room, or when you tried to sneak around the corner into the dark hallway to squeeze in some alone time without being spotted. Remember the adrenaline rush from the thought of being caught? Bring back that same fun by hiding the PDAs from the young, peering eyes under your roof. Just keep the rekindling game clean so that when the kiddies do catch you, they won't be too scarred!

Get your flirt on. Just because you've been together for years doesn't mean the flirting has to stop. Make your significant other know that you only have eyes for them. Let them know how much you love and appreciate them. Leave little love notes on the bathroom mirror or in their briefcase or purse. Tell them how good they look when they get ready for the day. Tell them to remember there will be someone waiting for them when they come home. Make them feel anxious to get back home.

Look your best for your spouse. Guys, put on cologne. Ladies, wear some lipstick. Dress as though you have somewhere to go. And when your significant other asks you what you're dressed up for, tell them it's for him/her. They will feel pretty special knowing you are still trying to impress them. Just because you're married, doesn't mean you should stop trying.

It makes everyone feel good to see a couple still in love after years of togetherness. Time doesn't have to dull romance. Take on life's challenge of rekindling the spark that may be dwindling. Don't let the fire go out. You found the one you want to be with forever, so put in the effort to make your forever great! Falling in love is up to fate. Staying in love is up to you.

Staying In Love