Falling In Love & Staying In Love

You don't get to choose who you fall in love with; that's why it's called "falling" in love. However, you do get to choose to stay in love. And staying in love takes work on both sides.

Always remember why you fell in love in the first place. Every couple will have their ups and downs. It's part of life. When the downs get in the way, go to your separate corners and take a breather. Let yourselves cool off. And, while you are regaining your composure, think about three things you were attracted to when you first met your significant other. Think about what he/she was wearing, how their eyes sparkled in the light of the room, the chills that went up and down your spine the first time you held hands. These are the little things that can rekindle that fire, no matter how long you've been together.

Recreate the dating spark. Ok, so you've been married for years and it's hard to find time to connect with soccer practices and piano lessons. All of us long for that butterflies-in-the-stomach feeling every time the one you love enters the room. If you haven't felt that way about your significant other for a while, it's time to make it happen again. Think about the days when you quickly stopped kissing when someone entered the room, or when you tried to sneak around the corner into the dark hallway to squeeze in some alone time without being spotted. Remember the adrenaline rush from the thought of being caught? Bring back that same fun by hiding the PDAs from the young, peering eyes under your roof. Just keep the rekindling game clean so that when the kiddies do catch you, they won't be too scarred!

Get your flirt on. Just because you've been together for years doesn't mean the flirting has to stop. Make your significant other know that you only have eyes for them. Let them know how much you love and appreciate them. Leave little love notes on the bathroom mirror or in their briefcase or purse. Tell them how good they look when they get ready for the day. Tell them to remember there will be someone waiting for them when they come home. Make them feel anxious to get back home.

Look your best for your spouse. Guys, put on cologne. Ladies, wear some lipstick. Dress as though you have somewhere to go. And when your significant other asks you what you're dressed up for, tell them it's for him/her. They will feel pretty special knowing you are still trying to impress them. Just because you're married, doesn't mean you should stop trying.

It makes everyone feel good to see a couple still in love after years of togetherness. Time doesn't have to dull romance. Take on life's challenge of rekindling the spark that may be dwindling. Don't let the fire go out. You found the one you want to be with forever, so put in the effort to make your forever great! Falling in love is up to fate. Staying in love is up to you.

Staying In Love

Value Your Values

In a day when compromising values is more and more acceptable, it's all the more important to make sure our values are carefully guarded.

How do we do this? Define what those values are. Take a minute, now while it's on your mind, and think about the top five (or more) most important personality traits or characteristics that make you who you are and that you absolutely don't want compromised. Some examples of this might be:

Integrity

Honesty

Virtue

Faithful to spouse

Hard worker

Optimistic

Goal oriented

Now, write them down. Tape the list to your bathroom mirror; keep a copy in your purse or wallet; save it as part of your wallpaper on your computer or cell phone. Put it in a place where you will see it everyday. Encourage your family members or close friends to do the same. It will force you to really think about the type of person you are, or who you want to be. If there are values you feel you don't currently possess, but have the desire to develop, add them to your list. Be consciously aware of them and work until they become part of you. Then, make sure nothing compromises them.

When magazines, movies, ads, and sometimes friends make compromising our values sound appealing and popular, it can be hard to stand strong, especially when it leaves us feeling like we're standing alone. But, when you find yourself in these situations, pull out your values list. Remember that this list represents who you are and don't let anything or anyone stand in your way to live up to your list.

Never be ashamed to value your values! By standing strong in the midst of a confusing and misleading world, you might be the example that someone else needs to lean on ~ or look up to ~ until their values are strong enough to provide them with a firm foundation.

Don't let the world make you compromise what you cherish most. It's easier to stand up for what you believe in when you know what you believe in. If you know what values you hold dear, the world can't make them disappear.

Values

Practicing What We Preach

* Have you ever found yourself yelling at your child/sibling/friend while you are telling them to keep their voice down?

* Have you ever told your child/sibling/friend to be thankful for the talents they have while you are secretly wishing you could sing, draw, sew, play piano, or play sports as well as your neighbor?

* Have you ever told your child/sibling/friend that they are not alone when you feel overwhelmingly lonely?

Often times we dish out helpful advice to those we know and love with the purest of intentions, not realizing that we are just as guilty of the same fault we are trying to correct in someone else. Sometimes our advice to others can be the most therapeutic when applied to our own lives.

When we are on the outside of the situation looking in, it's easy for us to see options and solutions that otherwise could easily be overlooked. The trick is that once we dish the advice, we need to take the time to reflect on our own words of wisdom. While reflecting, consider applying your insightful advice to your own life. Even if it doesn't relate to a situation in your life now, it might in the future. Write the advice down in a notebook. Then, you will have it and be able to reflect at a later time in life when it might be more applicable.

If we practice what we preach, we will also learn to be less critical of others. We acknowledge our own limitations and realize that we are capable of solving our personal conflicts. It's humbling when we realize the benefits of our own words of wisdom. As we put our advice to practice, we grow, knowing that we, too, have room to improve. Others will be more likely to take our advice if we practice what we preach.

Practice What We Preach

Season of Change

Change isn't something to be afraid of,

it's something to be inspired by.

~ Stacy Coles

Look out the window and you will notice a slight change in the colors all around you. There is a hint of crispness in the air during the early hours of the morning. The cooler winds pull at the weakening leaves that hang on their billowing branches. I get a renewed sense of excitement as these early signs of fall become more visible and it's time, again, to break out the fall decorations.

A season of change is good in more ways than just rotating your porch decor. It's a great time to reorganize your closets, de-clutter your mind, and re-focus your goals. Make this time of year the jumping off point to finish that book, train for that race, sign up for that painting class, or whatever it is you've been putting off. Think about it, there is just enough time left in the year. It's a great time to begin a goal, finish a project, or revamp your New Year's resolution that you gave up on in February.

Use the inspiring shades of firery-burnt orange, sunset-mustard yellow, rusty-barn red, deep olive green, and tree branch brown to regenerate your senses. Bring these colors into your kitchen as you try new recipes using peaches, squash, tomatoes, zucchini, and pumpkins from your garden (or, if your green thumb isn't very green, like mine, visit your local Farmer's Market). Incorporate the seasonal smells like ginger, nutmeg, and cinnamon as you bake and can your favorite harvested fruits and vegetables. For me, the smells of fall begin with the aroma of peppers, onions, and tomatoes as my mom's salsa recipe simmers on my stove. It's amazing how smells can revive precious memories. And if the memories are accompanied by a few tears, blame the onions!

Bring an instant change to your home decor by incorporating the colors of the season with accessories. Decorative pillows, ceramic vases, silk plants and flowers, and even art work are easy ways to update any room with inspiring seasonal colors.

Be open to the invigorating smells and beautiful colors around you this time of year. Welcome the change of the seasons and see what exciting things you are inspired to change, try, or add to your day. These changes, whether they are making fall wall art or trying a new recipe, could become new traditions that can be passed down through generations.

Inspiring Change

Turn Dreams into Reality

Have you ever had a dream?  It could be something you've wanted to accomplish; maybe visiting a far away place; or becoming something great? Have you ever had anyone tell you, "You're dreaming?"

Of course you're dreaming! We all have dreams. We all have things we would love to accomplish or become someday. Today I challenge you to turn your dreams into reality. We are all capable of doing this. The first key is to START. Just break it down and take it one step at a time.

• Write down your dreams. Once a dream is written down, it becomes a goal.
• Write down three steps that will bring your goal closer to reality. Three steps feel more attainable than an open-ended dream.
• Make a timeline. If you write down an actual date or deadline to work towards, you are more likely to accomplish your goal. A deadline will help make your journey feel real.
• Make a reward. What will happen when you achieve your goal? A shopping spree? A trip? A night out on the town? Or the simple, yet satisfying feeling of realizing your dream has come true!

The second key is to not let anyone tell you it can't be done. The minute you give in to this ridicule, your dream will remain a dream. Instead, let the nay-sayer be the one left with eyes reeling when they see you are living your dream. Remember that anything is possible with hard work and perseverance. Nothing will happen if you just keep dreaming about it. Put your dream into action and make it come true.

The third key is to believe in yourself; believe that you deserve to be happy; believe that you are capable of making things happen. When you have this kind of faith in yourself, you've got the world in your hands. Do something great with your golden opportunity.

Finally, don't give up! Too often, we give up on our dreams if they don't happen on the first try. We figure we're better off, or tell ourselves, It was just a dream! Remember, Rome was not built in a day. Your dream might take years and years of hard work before it becomes a reality. But, that glorious day of celebration will never come if your dream gets sidelined by self-doubt.

Every dream is worth working for. Dream big, then work hard. You are just as deserving to have your dreams come true as anyone else. What will set you apart from the next person, is how hard you work to turn your dreams into reality.

Dream Big

Get Moving!

We all know that exercise is important for our physical health. But we often forget the emotional and mental benefits that exercise also offers. As we get our heart rates up, the endorphins that are released can help clear our minds and boost our moods. And, when you burn calories while performing daily tasks, you will feel like you've accomplished a lot more at the end of the day.

There are so many different ways to get moving and get our heart rates up. However, most people use the excuse that there is never enough time to exercise. Between house and yard work, kids, jobs, and school, there is always something taking up our time, making us say, "I can't." There is a quote from John Wooden that says, "Don't let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do." Here are ways to get our muscles working and get our heart rates going while taking care of every day duties.

When you are at work, make it a point to take the stairs instead of the elevator.

Find ways around the house to burn a few extra calories. If you are taking laundry up/down to the laundry room, separate your clothes into piles and take a trip up/down the stairs for each pile. This might seem really cumbersome, but trust me, you'll feel your legs burning in no time.

Wash your windows. Hand washing your windows is a great workout for your arms. If you don't believe me, you haven't tried it lately. Grab your favorite glass cleaner, paper towels, a cloth, or a squeegee and get to work. This workout is also affective while washing mirrors (especially when you're trying to scrub off those stubborn hairspray spots!!).

You will almost always break a sweat while mopping your kitchen floor, even if your floor area isn't that big. Whether you are hand washing and scrubbing, or using a mop, you will absolutely feel your muscles the next day.

Everyone needs to visit the grocery store at some point during the week. When you go, make it a point to park in the far end of the parking lot and walk the distance to the store's entrance. If you're in a hurry, speed up your walk!

Putting your groceries away can also provide some calorie-burning opportunities. As you put away your canned goods, do some weight-lifting reps. Fit in 10 reps with every two cans you are placing in the cupboard. Your family members might laugh, but you'll be the one laughing when your arm muscles are toned.

Pulling weeds will usually wake up any muscles you haven't used for a while. And, depending on the time of day you choose to tackle this job, you can work up a good enough sweat to maybe help soften the soil (ok, that's gross, but if you're a sweater, it's true!).

Does the dog need to be walked? Be the one to volunteer for the job. It's a great time to get in an extra 20- to 30-minute walk. Your dog won't be the only one receiving the benefits.

When your kids are looking for something to do, especially during the long summer days, pull out your bikes and go on a family bike ride. It doesn't have to be very long, but it can be memorable. It's great when you can combine quality family time with burning calories. That's extra rewarding!

If you are taking kids (or siblings) to soccer practice, walk some laps around the field. It will make practice time go by faster and you will feel like you've accomplished something during the hour.

In a busy world where every minute is precious, make every minute count. There are usually ways in those pesky daily tasks to burn extra calories. When you get moving, you will benefit physically, mentally, and emotionally. You will feel like you are better able to tackle the every day tasks. And when you are tired at the end of the day, you can sleep well knowing that you have done something good ~ for you!

Get Moving

Triumph Over Tragedy

If you look for the good during trial and pain,

your spirit and outlook will not be the same.

Instead of drowning in sorrows, so grim,

your days will be brighter; you'll find strength from within.  

~ Stacy Coles

Tragedy and trials come in different ways for each of us. Some of us have experienced the loss of a parent, the loss of a child, or the pain of not being able to have children. Some have heard the chilling words that they have an incurable disease. Some have experienced the heartache of watching their home being destroyed by natural disaster. Some have found they are paralyzed after a sporting or car accident. Unfortunately, we will all experience some sort of tragedy in our lives. How we deal with these challenges or tragedies will define who we are, and in some aspects shape the rest of our lives.

When we find ourselves in the face of adversity and trial, it might feel easier to give up or give in than to work through the pain. When it feels like the darkness is never-ending and all hope feels lost, remember that tomorrow is another day. We each possess a lot more strength within us than we give ourselves credit for. Finding this strength might be a challenge, but it's there.

Take things one day at a time. Don't expect things to turn around all at once. Be patient with yourself, with those around you, and with the situation. Time might not change the outcome of your circumstances, but it does heal.

Look for the good. This can be hard, especially when you are in the midst of a tragedy. But, looking for the positive in a bad situation can immediately start the healing process. Those who have lost parents can lean on the life lessons they were taught. Those who have lost children too soon can rely on their precious memories and the time they were blessed with. Those who have lost a home can count their blessings as they comfort their family members who are safe. Those who suffer from a disease can become a beacon of hope as others watch their willpower to fight. Even in the worst of circumstances, try to find one good thing that has emerged from it. This might take some time to do, or some help from those around you ~ but find it. This one ray of sunshine, no matter how dim, can make a world of difference. When you find one piece of hope, you can build on it, find strength in it. Pretty soon, that one ray of hope will brighten your days more and more until you see the sunshine in it's entirety again.

Lose yourself in service. One of the best ways to lift yourself out of a bad place is by serving others. Service is a great way to bless other people's lives and forget your own trials. When helping those in need, you focus on the feelings and necessities of others. And by witnessing how your efforts help lift their spirits, you will, in turn, be lifting your own. Soon, your own trials might seem more manageable and less burdensome.

We all have a choice when trials come our way. We can let the bad take us down and keep us down, or we can pick ourselves up and turn the bad into something good. Regardless of how bad things might seem today, tomorrow is another day. Each tomorrow offers new hope and new possibilities. If we stay focused on the positives, we can draw the strength we need to triumph over our tragedies. After all, it's how we deal with trials, not the trials themselves, that determine our outcome.

Look For The Good

Triumph Over Tragedy

Deal With Trials